Ever since I was a little girl, playing house with friends,
I always was a mommy and I had a male friend be a daddy and
then of course had my doll as my baby. I guess, that's how most
little girls play. In my mind, that's how normal life was and
should be. Hindi movies influenced me to a certain extent and
even though it was fictional, I got carried away by it just
a little. I'm sure a lot of us did. Now as I look back at my
life, I wish I had taught myself better.
Life is not as simple and easy as everyone imagines it to
be and starting a family becomes an important phase in most
peoples’ lives. I hoped to have a normal family and give
my kids the life I didn't have. I’m now a 26-year-old
“Single Mom”. How ironic is that? Life didn't quite
turn out the way I’d imagined it to be, and I’ve
learned to take life as it is and make the best out of it.
| "My best
wishes to all single moms. Kids are not easy to raise to
begin with and to do it without help is mind blowing. I’m
grateful for my family for being there for me and loving
my daughter unconditionally." |
Never in my wildest dream did I expect to become a “Single
Mom”. I surprised myself. Not that I wanted to be —
No Way! It was just my fate. At this day and age you can never
tell, and even though it's still not totally accepted in our
society, we have a handful of “Single Moms”. My
best wishes to all single moms. Kids are not easy to raise to
begin with and to do it without help is mind blowing. I’m
grateful for my family for being there for me and loving my
daughter unconditionally.
Women are amazingly strong people. We can handle situations
at any given day without hesitation. When it comes to kids,
we will sweat blood to take care of them. There are men who
do the same but since I’m not familiar with single dads,
I can't speak for them, but if you are taking care of your business
right and your kids are your priority then, hats off to you.
I have a couple of friends who were or are single moms and
we all share the same concerns and problems. Paying bills on
time, making sure they are fed, have proper clothes to wear,
taking them on outings, but foremost having time for them. It's
heart breaking to leave them with babysitters and daycares that
are not easy or cheap. We know that we all have to work and
if we don't do it, no one will do it for us. We take care of
business with or without help. I think kids are very intelligent,
and they put up with a lot and understand our situations very
well. Between visitation rights and child support they know
that its us moms that do the most for them. There are a lot
of deadbeat dads, who just don't care and there are dads who
share responsibility. We all wish it was common but sad to say,
its a rarity.
| "Young girls
think that having kids is easy. Its not at all!! Kids are
not dolls and to have one 24 hours is no joke. There is
always a time to have one when you’re responsible
and mature enough. Don't rush into it."
|
Young girls think that having kids is easy. Its not at all!!
Kids are not dolls and to have one 24 hours is no joke. There
is always a time to have one when you’re responsible and
mature enough. Don't rush into it.
In addition to raising kids on our own, we also have to deal
with people who discriminate us. In some instances they change
their views about our personalities as soon as they find out
we have kids. Different terms are used to brand us and even
though there are people who sympathize with us, there are people
who just treat us very cold. In our society, a man falling in
love with a woman with a child is like a NO- NO! Even before
they get to know the girl, all hell breaks lose — arguments,
family feuds, hatred, you name it. I understand that most families
are trying to look out for their loved ones and want them to
marry or live with someone who has never had a child before.
Many men want that and I’ve heard people use terms like
“comes with the package”, “ready made family”...so
on and so forth and they forget that its very hurtful. The way
I see it, it happens in every family, especially these days.
At some point, someone in the family becomes a single parent
and may go through tough times too. It's how life is and since
times have changed, this is nothing compared to all the “what
if” in life. Some people talk about how it has become
such a “trend”. So what if its a trend!!! As long
as two people understand and love each other with respect and
know their place, give them a chance at love and live.
A good friend of mine who is a single mom now, got a second
chance at love with her first love. He is a very good man and
loves her regardless of whether she has a child or not. His
family is also very welcoming and understands that things happen
in life and no one should be penalized for it because of the
choices they made in life. My friend is an amazing girl and
he is very lucky to love her. As for his family, I applaud you,
and hope that there are more families like you who have such
big welcoming hearts.
| "
...for me personally, the one thing that puts me off is,
if a man tells me he will “ACCEPT” my daughter."
|
For me personally, the one thing that puts me off is, if a
man tells me he will “ACCEPT” my daughter. What
is that? Kids are not a thing or a pet. I don't think animals
are even addressed in that manner. Kids living with a single
parent should not be treated as a burden. They did not ask for
to be born or become an excuse for other peoples insecurities.
I’m sure they want siblings or do things like any regular
child from a normal family. It’s the greatest feeling
for a child to be loved by more than one person and feel like
he has a family. I’ve met a lot of men who are such great
role models and love their step kids like their own. I salute
you and thank you for making a difference in a child’s
life.
| "A
lot of people think that single moms are desperate for company
and that we will settle for any man who comes our way. We
know what we want in life and know that our priorities are
our kids and we’d rather stay single, than let unfit
men in our lives. " |
A lot of people think that single moms are desperate for company
and that we will settle for any man who comes our way. We know
what we want in life and know that our priorities are our kids
and we’d rather stay single, than let unfit men in our
lives. Our love for our kids is different from our love for
our partners and we hope that people understand that. We may
have kids but we still have feelings and not to forget our “MOJO”.
We are just like any eligible women, but with a child and if
you think that it's too hard to handle, give other men a chance
then. Other societies are more accepting of women with kids
and I pray that women in our society will not be undermined,
scared or mistreated because of their fate. Life takes us on
different journeys and we live in an imperfect world and we
should not discriminate each other. I don’t advocate for
broken homes or ask people to change their beliefs but please
don’t mistake our fate for our weakness. Be a little more
open-minded and put your self in other people’s shoes
before jumping to conclusions. We are peace loving, compassionate
people and that is what makes us different. Don’t downplay
who you are and let us set an example for the rest of the world
| "Other
societies are more accepting of women with kids and I pray
that women in our society will not be undermined, scared
or mistreated because of their fate. Life takes us on different
journeys and we live in an imperfect world and we should
not discriminate each other." |
